Boy: What character are you working on from Canterbury Tales?
Me: The Wife of Bath, there seems to be a lot to talk about with her, so it should be good.
Boy: Cool, we should work on ours together.
Me: That sounds fun! Sure! Uh.. I’m just going to mention, in case you were thinking of something – maybe you weren’t- but if you were, uh, I should just mention-
Me: …I’m not entirely normal.
Boy: (Internally “Wah-Oh”)
Me: Not, like, clinically “not normal”, it’s just that if we hang out now, and then we hang out again, then you might- after a certain amount of hanging out- decide that you feel things for me…I might have even thought in the course of that time that I feel things for you too. But, I can guarantee that as soon as you exhibit any feelings whatsoever, my own thoughts (whatever they were) will vanish; and I will run, not walk, in the opposite direction. I don’t know why. I haven’t psycho-analyzed it, but I have detected a pattern. So, if you have any fluttering thoughts beyond just friends right now, here is your fair warning.
I wonder if this would be effective in real life, or if I can only be this honest in my daydreams.