Tuesday, April 19, 2011

My Sunny Feeling was Taken Away

     I broke a boy’s heart today. He handed it to me and I neatly snapped it in two and gave it back to him. It was not because of any real issue; if pressed, the only things truly wrong with him that I could think of were possibly that his hair was too nice, and his jeans a little tight. All his intentions were well meant, all his words thought out – and yet there was something that never quite fit between us, some cosmic reason that my gut kept answering his advances with a firm and resounding “NO,” and made me feel as queasy as the last time I had Chicken Nuggets at McDonald’s. I am not a stranger to the deactivation of a male’s heart. The disappointment is, in truth, all I know. It is not shocking that I once again had to have the, “It’s not you, it’s me” talk. What would be shocking is to one day actually reciprocate the feelings of a member of the opposite sex. I would love to meet someone where I finally feel like it makes sense - as if life is better with them there and like my world would never be the same again without them in it. At this point I cannot say in confidence that I believe that exists out there in the vast abyss for me; but a girl can dream, can’t she?

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