I have decided that there are at least three days out of the month that I cannot trust myself. I have never thought that I was a typically hormonal female, but there is something that triggers in my body…right about now… that is yelling, nay, hysterically screaming at everything within me to take some serious action in regards to my happily ever after. I am currently restraining myself from texting every past crush, romantic idea, or flirtatious pastime in my repertoire (I am going to make the list sound longer , and more elaborate, than it is for my own self esteem) and am also studiously avoiding my owned copy of Sleepless in Seattle as my evening companion; since I do not need to be dreaming of Tom Hanks at a time like this.
I have not totally succeeded in avoiding all the hormonally fueled ideas that have popped into my head as of late. Five minutes ago I arranged a coffee meet up (not a date, I swear) with a “past crush” for later this week. I just hope it seems like just as good of an idea then as it does now (doubtful, I know).
I don’t know what it is between me and the boys that have crossed my path so far and why we don’t click. I have recently come upon the more radical idea that I have come to terms with the potential fact that I may never meet that someone, and may very well end up living the majority of my life alone. The radical part about this idea is that I am really OK with this, and most days it is not depressing in the least. Most days except for days like today when I can’t trust myself. So screw it, I’ll go to coffee. I might even take Tom Hanks for another spin if my fickle heart has its way. I’ll worry about being OK next week.