Monday, January 10, 2011

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

     What is the point of optimism but to constantly and consistently enable us to be dropped back to reality in a state of disillusioned despair when we realize once again that life is not what we hoped it to be?
     And yet – I have the innate curse of being one of those people who is an eternal optimist. There is not one situation or circumstance that I have come through recently  where I have not had a thought such as, “Well, if God closes a door, He opens a window,” or “Every cloud has a silver lining,” or “There are always more fish in the sea,”. I am the type of person for which those clichéd remarks exist. If I am not repeating them within myself for my own peace of mind, I am repeating them to others with the premising statement of, “I know this sounds cliché, but...,”. This has been true when my once good friend started dating the only boy I had ever truly liked and when my dream of living a fabulous life as an international model became nothing more than a topic to dodge at social functions. Even when my best friend was diagnosed with cancer, I gulped it down with a simple, “Everything happens for a reason”.
     Is it wrong to want more angst in your life? To want to dwell on the negatives vs the positives that saturate the reality of every day? Perhaps it is that deep down, I know I prefer to believe in that illusive hope. Deep down, I do believe that there are silver linings, and reasons, and that ultimately what is meant to work out will, in fact, work out. Is that the folly of youth? Maybe; and maybe that is what is so greatly coveted of the young. Since I am just recently able to classify myself as an “adult”, I still very much feel that the world is my oyster and I can go with whichever wind’s breezes are most persuasive. There is nothing to hold me back except for my modest bank account and my over-fondness of my prairie-residing family. It is a daunting and exhilarating feeling full of no expectation except for the wish that maybe in a few years I will have found my bearings and become more grounded in who I am and where my future is headed.
     So, even though there is no great line up of “other fish” to choose from just yet for the great come back (or commencement) of my love life; and the fabulousness of any career I am currently in pursuit of is questionable at best - with all that truly defines who I am inside, I am forced to state...

...and I know this sounds cliché, but...

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