And His Hair was...PERFECT!

“So, my policy is mostly just do what I do, and try and make sure my hair always looks good,”

                I would put these words of my wiser friend in my “Words to Live By” feature, but it’s too good a quote not to discuss. There is so little control in life. Right now I am sitting at home with a mountain of homework, and a blaring cold that is refusing to get better. No control over that. BUT- even in the midst of the most blazing of blaring colds, you can still make sure your head is perfectly coiffed. That is some control. Minimal, but sometimes just enough control to hurl us onwards towards whatever it is that we keep desperately trying to catch up with. I am a person with real dreams, but no real strategy. All I can do is, “…just do what I do….” which may not seem like much, but at the end of the day when my picture is taken for the Archives of Anonymity, at least my hair will look darn good.

                                          Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon

Completely Honest with No Agenda

Boy: What character are you working on from Canterbury Tales?

Me: The Wife of Bath, there seems to be a lot to talk about with her, so it should be good.

Boy: Cool, we should work on ours together.

Me: That sounds fun! Sure! Uh.. I’m just going to mention, in case you were thinking of something – maybe you weren’t- but if you were, uh,  I should just mention-

Boy: Yea?

Me: …I’m not entirely normal.

Boy: (Internally “Wah-Oh”)

Me: Not, like, clinically “not normal”, it’s just that if we hang out now, and then we hang out again, then you might- after a certain amount of hanging out- decide that you feel things for me…I might have even thought in the course of that time that I feel things for you too. But, I can guarantee that as soon as you exhibit any feelings whatsoever, my own thoughts (whatever they were) will vanish; and I will run, not walk, in the opposite direction. I don’t know why. I haven’t psycho-analyzed it, but I have detected a pattern. So, if you have any fluttering thoughts beyond just friends right now, here is your fair warning. 

Boy:  ….

I wonder if this would be effective in real life, or if I can only be this honest in my daydreams.

That's Poppycock!

As promised, here is my Aunt's wonderfully addictive recipe for caramel coated popcorn confection, aka, Poppycock! I make a big bowl of this and munch on it all week (or for as long as it lasts...) whilst studying!


Shari's Poppycock

8 cups popped corn
1 cup roasted pecans


Melt:
1 cup butter (1/2 lb.)
1 cup sugar (brown sugar works well)
1/2 cup white corn syrup (or regular is fine too)

Boil 5 to 10 minutes until it starts to form a ball in pot. Stir the entire time. Remove from heat. Add 1 tsp. vanilla. Mix all together and ENJOY!

If you have not heard this song yet, you really must. My obsession is 2 weeks strong and counting.

Gotye: Somebody That I Used To Know

Oh, Hey... I Didn't See You There!

                Alright, you caught me. I have been avoiding you. Before realizing that this was the truth five minutes ago, I could not begin to tell you why. In the past couple months since I began this blog, it was the one thing that reminded myself that I was still going places – that I had a plan, despite my school hiatus. But now I am back in school, just finished my first week back, and I have this immense sense of dread that I am going to let you (and potentially a lot of other people) down.

                I am more excited for school this year than I have ever been, but I am also so much more scared. Four out of five of my classes are English classes, and never in my life have I wanted to do better than ever scholastically. This is the one thing in life that I love, that I feel completely free in doing, but those feelings are of no use if they cannot be justified by the approval of the public, right? I realize that this is dangerous, but I have the idea that if I do not do well- if I have completely lost my knack for writing essays or somehow all my opinions come across as shockingly uninformed or one-sided -  that essentially me and my future as I have dreamt it are eternally hooped. Life is so much easier when your only literary critic is your mother (a brilliant literary informed mind in her own right, but still, my mom).

                This blog post, however, is my stand against overcoming these feeling of inadequacy. Nothing was ever won without hard work, and that is exactly what I will do, along with “Faking it until I Make it” and if necessary, “Finding a Window when God closes a Door”.  

Jibber Jabber

                I talk to myself. A lot. I wouldn’t necessarily say that I have imaginary friends – but I have several imaginary acquaintances. I don’t know if this is normal or not. I assume not, since the few times I have mentioned it to people in passing (about how much I talk to myself) it always seems to be met with a look of bewilderment and me trying to backtrack and pass it off as a joke.

                But it’s really not a joke. It usually goes along 3 different paths. 1- I’m being interviewed (presumably in the future) about my life by a famous interviewer (ie. Oprah or Ellen), and I am telling them how I overcame my life’s obstacles to be in the position of imminent success that I (apparently) am in. 2 – I am having a break through moment with a friend (that I actually already have) that I have been wanting to have in real life for a long, long time. 3 – (and this one is most common) I’m meeting a complete stranger and for some reason something just clicks, and they understand everything that I say and mean to the fullest extent, and want nothing but to hear about all the intrinsic details that make me uniquely myself, and when they do finally speak it is only to reaffirm everything that I already believe about myself and about the world around me.

                I don’t know why I do this. Am I more insane than I like to admit? I will have extended conversations, to myself, with an imaginary voice answering all my questions inside my head. Not always, but if I’m left alone – in my bedroom, in a bathroom staring into the mirror, during a slow night at work- I will. Maybe I just like the sound of my own voice bouncing off the vacant walls and coming back to me with the brilliance and clarity that only true vanity can bring. Or perhaps this is why I feel somewhere within me that I must write – it is, after all, a more acceptable and concrete means of getting my own thoughts out and sorted in the world (in comparison to talking to oneself).

                I suppose this brings me in a round-a-bout way to my somewhat related, but not entirely, next point as for the upcoming month I will mainly be only talking to myself since next Friday I am off on the wildest adventure I have been on yet! I do not want to let this meager progress I feel I have had personally as a writer slide- but there is really no way around it as I will be who knows where in Europe with nothing but a locally purchased cell phone to keep in contact with my mother so that she will know that my sister and I are still alive abroad.

                Looking back at this post as I’m writing this, I suppose it looks a bit suspicious of me telling you of my potential insanity and then mysteriously “leaving”, however I have more than full intentions of returning at the end of August with my pockets full to the brim of fresh perspectives and new stories to share. I have loved every minute of writing into this dark abyss that is cyber space – thus this is hardly goodbye, and only talk to you very soon!

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

                I feel as if I have been swept up into the great whirlwind that is my life right now. I had to register for my classes in the fall (yay!), I went to my sister's graduation this past weekend (crazy!), and am trying to tie together all the loose ends I can before my BIG trip this summer (have I mentioned it?) - all of which had been completely cramping my writing style.  

                On the note of my BIG trip – I’m going to Europe for a month on July 22^nd. I’m so excited since I have never been anywhere, but also nervous with all the new things I will have to figure out (and crossing my fingers that my hard earned funds will tide me over for the entire time + school in the fall). I cannot even imagine what it will be like, except exhilarating.

                These are our main stops:

Hanover

Berlin

Prague

Vienna

Venice

Rome

Paris

London

                Thoughts? Opinions? Favorite spots? I would love to hear your ideas.

               

                Also, here's a new song obsession - Let It In by Sam Roberts