That's Poppycock!

As promised, here is my Aunt's wonderfully addictive recipe for caramel coated popcorn confection, aka, Poppycock! I make a big bowl of this and munch on it all week (or for as long as it lasts...) whilst studying!


Shari's Poppycock

8 cups popped corn
1 cup roasted pecans


Melt:
1 cup butter (1/2 lb.)
1 cup sugar (brown sugar works well)
1/2 cup white corn syrup (or regular is fine too)

Boil 5 to 10 minutes until it starts to form a ball in pot. Stir the entire time. Remove from heat. Add 1 tsp. vanilla. Mix all together and ENJOY!

If you have not heard this song yet, you really must. My obsession is 2 weeks strong and counting.

Gotye: Somebody That I Used To Know

Oh, Hey... I Didn't See You There!

                Alright, you caught me. I have been avoiding you. Before realizing that this was the truth five minutes ago, I could not begin to tell you why. In the past couple months since I began this blog, it was the one thing that reminded myself that I was still going places – that I had a plan, despite my school hiatus. But now I am back in school, just finished my first week back, and I have this immense sense of dread that I am going to let you (and potentially a lot of other people) down.

                I am more excited for school this year than I have ever been, but I am also so much more scared. Four out of five of my classes are English classes, and never in my life have I wanted to do better than ever scholastically. This is the one thing in life that I love, that I feel completely free in doing, but those feelings are of no use if they cannot be justified by the approval of the public, right? I realize that this is dangerous, but I have the idea that if I do not do well- if I have completely lost my knack for writing essays or somehow all my opinions come across as shockingly uninformed or one-sided -  that essentially me and my future as I have dreamt it are eternally hooped. Life is so much easier when your only literary critic is your mother (a brilliant literary informed mind in her own right, but still, my mom).

                This blog post, however, is my stand against overcoming these feeling of inadequacy. Nothing was ever won without hard work, and that is exactly what I will do, along with “Faking it until I Make it” and if necessary, “Finding a Window when God closes a Door”.  

Jibber Jabber

                I talk to myself. A lot. I wouldn’t necessarily say that I have imaginary friends – but I have several imaginary acquaintances. I don’t know if this is normal or not. I assume not, since the few times I have mentioned it to people in passing (about how much I talk to myself) it always seems to be met with a look of bewilderment and me trying to backtrack and pass it off as a joke.

                But it’s really not a joke. It usually goes along 3 different paths. 1- I’m being interviewed (presumably in the future) about my life by a famous interviewer (ie. Oprah or Ellen), and I am telling them how I overcame my life’s obstacles to be in the position of imminent success that I (apparently) am in. 2 – I am having a break through moment with a friend (that I actually already have) that I have been wanting to have in real life for a long, long time. 3 – (and this one is most common) I’m meeting a complete stranger and for some reason something just clicks, and they understand everything that I say and mean to the fullest extent, and want nothing but to hear about all the intrinsic details that make me uniquely myself, and when they do finally speak it is only to reaffirm everything that I already believe about myself and about the world around me.

                I don’t know why I do this. Am I more insane than I like to admit? I will have extended conversations, to myself, with an imaginary voice answering all my questions inside my head. Not always, but if I’m left alone – in my bedroom, in a bathroom staring into the mirror, during a slow night at work- I will. Maybe I just like the sound of my own voice bouncing off the vacant walls and coming back to me with the brilliance and clarity that only true vanity can bring. Or perhaps this is why I feel somewhere within me that I must write – it is, after all, a more acceptable and concrete means of getting my own thoughts out and sorted in the world (in comparison to talking to oneself).

                I suppose this brings me in a round-a-bout way to my somewhat related, but not entirely, next point as for the upcoming month I will mainly be only talking to myself since next Friday I am off on the wildest adventure I have been on yet! I do not want to let this meager progress I feel I have had personally as a writer slide- but there is really no way around it as I will be who knows where in Europe with nothing but a locally purchased cell phone to keep in contact with my mother so that she will know that my sister and I are still alive abroad.

                Looking back at this post as I’m writing this, I suppose it looks a bit suspicious of me telling you of my potential insanity and then mysteriously “leaving”, however I have more than full intentions of returning at the end of August with my pockets full to the brim of fresh perspectives and new stories to share. I have loved every minute of writing into this dark abyss that is cyber space – thus this is hardly goodbye, and only talk to you very soon!

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

                I feel as if I have been swept up into the great whirlwind that is my life right now. I had to register for my classes in the fall (yay!), I went to my sister's graduation this past weekend (crazy!), and am trying to tie together all the loose ends I can before my BIG trip this summer (have I mentioned it?) - all of which had been completely cramping my writing style.  

                On the note of my BIG trip – I’m going to Europe for a month on July 22^nd. I’m so excited since I have never been anywhere, but also nervous with all the new things I will have to figure out (and crossing my fingers that my hard earned funds will tide me over for the entire time + school in the fall). I cannot even imagine what it will be like, except exhilarating.

                These are our main stops:

Hanover

Berlin

Prague

Vienna

Venice

Rome

Paris

London

                Thoughts? Opinions? Favorite spots? I would love to hear your ideas.

               

                Also, here's a new song obsession - Let It In by Sam Roberts

Stone Cold Fox

             

               “Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be divinely beautiful?”

                Well, do you?

                What does it feel like? Is it different than the average human experience? Would you get used to complete strangers stopping you on the street, or in the grocery line up, or in the library, to tell you how beautiful you were? Would you expect little children to stare at you in awe and whisper in barely hushed, quavering voices “She’s so perfect!”.  Would you always get the feeling that the great love ballad at every rock concert you went to was strangely sung in your direction? Would you get more discounts than the next guy, or receive the best service at your local video rental store?  I could not say. I wonder if there would be a flip side to being divinely beautiful as well? What would the disadvantages be? Perhaps people making assumptions about who you were without getting up the courage to actually get to know you. Maybe others would think that you were a snob if you were just a bit shy. Would you have to prove your intellectual worth more than that chap with glasses? It could happen.

                It must be hard to not lose restraint on your vanity if every turn you make is greeted with an admiring glance. The only thing more obvious than blatant self adoration, is poorly executed modesty. In this world, you must be modest. When someone gives you a compliment, you must act as if it is the first time that you have heard those words of praise. How difficult that must be when you are told those same words several times a day by various people? But even so, above all else, modesty must be sincere. I have been told before (although, I’m not sure who their sources were) that an uncanny number of famous actors and celebrities have incredibly low self esteem. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that to be well liked (truly well liked) you must be sincerely modest; and with the talents, looks, and business savvy that your average celebrity would have, they would have to work awfully hard at telling themselves enough negative messages to equalize all the compliments and admiration they received in order to maintain the equilibrium of a modest persona.

             So maybe being divinely beautiful is not all it’s cracked up to be. Perhaps being average gives you more freedom to be genuinely touched and surprised at the compliment of a stranger. Maybe there is no stigma, or difference in sale price, and no higher rate of receiving a double take in a crowd. Maybe – but it never hurts to wonder. 

Picture from  http://www.postsecret.com/

To Whom it May Concern

Dear Derek,

                This letter may come as a surprise to you. You’re a friend of my brother’s, and thus as the saying implies, a friend of mine. It must be a few years now since I met you, and yet I have to admit my ignorance up until late to what makes you essentially yourself.

                As I have been becoming better acquainted with you, I’ve found the tidbits of your life to be nothing short of the intriguing character description of a well rounded hero of a classic novel or 1950s film. Facts such as that you work on a ranch, or want to pursue a career in psychology, or that you’re as terrible a dancer as I am, or that you were once a professional mime. These attributes override the actuality of your piercing blue eyes, and that you look nearly irresistible in a deep grey knit sweater reminiscent of my grandfather’s regular duds.

                Derek, I feel I must confess – I must admit my wayward feelings as simply as this: I think I’m platonically in love with you.

                It’s nothing to get freaked out about. It doesn’t have to be a “not you, but me” situation. I don’t want you to hold my hand or to lie gazing at the stars and talk about what we’ll name the children we’ll one day have.  I just want you to be around. I want to talk about our separate goals, dreams, and desires; and I want to know that as I look into your eyes and say these things, that you can see my soul. I want to be in love with you like Romeo and Mercutio, like Laurie and Jo (Little Women, anyone?), or Piglet and Pooh. I want to be the first person you tell when something out of the ordinary rhythm of your well orchestrated life happens, or the one you plan a spur of the moment road trip with, or the person who sits by your side for an evening’s worth of silent film entertainment.

                You understand, don’t you? Don’t you long for this too? The relationship without the expectations? The love without the pressure? I thought you would, I felt you had to. Well then it’s settled- let’s go out to a candlelit dinner and split the bill. 

Song: From Above - Ben Folds/Nick Hornby